So, you’re at the auto parts store buying plug wires for that old car of yours. Down the counter from you is this pretty little thing talking on the phone. As you’re looking you see all these little packets of “stuff”. So you go over and look and see that these little packets are for everything from plug wires to radiator hoses. Before you leave you pickup a radiator hose and an oil change “kit”, but pass by those little packets again.

Once home and under the hood you find the radiator hoses are stuck. You get out the trusty channel lock pliers and use them to twist the hose off. You then go to put the new one on and it wont go there. You cuss, scream and yell, you swear up and down that the damn radiator grew. Then you think back to that girl on the phone and those packets of grease. That radiator hose lube would have not only gotten the damned hose on but also gotten it off a little easier.

So you’re stuck. The wife took your other car to get whatever it is she goes and gets every day. No car, no nothing. So how do you get the hose back on? Simple. Go grab some of that fuddy dudy liquid soap she has inside. Get a bit on your hand and smear it on the fixture and on the hose. Bada bing – the hose is now easy to put on – and smelling pretty good.

You filled the system with the spec’d distilled water and coolant and now you need to drain the oil. The damn drain plug is stuck, but that’s okay. Take a wrench and break it loose (you should be using a combination wrench). Find a combination wrench a bit bigger and fit the box end of it over one of the open-end jaws on the wrench you’re using to break the plug loose. Put the wrench back on the plug and now you can see how to use the other wrench for more leverage.

Now you need to pull the filter off – but it’s stuck too – and your cheesy oil filter wrench just spins on it. Get some aggressive sand paper and fold it in half so the abrasive material is on both sides. Now wrap it around the filter and put your wrench on over it. This should be enough grip to get the filter broken loose.

The drain plug is back on and it’s time to put the new oil in. There goes your daughter with your only funnel giggling the whole way. How are you going to get the oil in? First, grab a bottle of oil and see how it curves out from the cap. That part goes downward so as you pour, the fat part points down so air can get into the bottle. No more “Glug Glug”. Now that you have done a perfect pour that rivals the ones on TV, take that bottle and saw it in half. You now have a new funnel. For the filter use some of the old oil and smear it around the rubber o-ring part and place it on as per the instructions on the filter. Don’t use a wrench on the new one as the instructions are for a hand-tight fit and show how far to rotate the filter by hand after it bottoms. Start engine and check for leaks.

That’s it for this month. Happy wrenching!

Things That Cost 99 Cents Can Buy You Hundreds Of Dollars In Doctor Bills

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